Not local; unknown; dead.
In Long Melford on November 13th 2014, four children lost their parents. It was and remains a tragedy. My heart goes out to all involved.
In December, the Coroner, Kevin McCarthy, stated:-
I’ve
been increasingly anxious at the reporting of this case and the language that's been used. Those knowing
nothing about the case could be forgiven for thinking that some terrible accident had
occurred – with
both or neither party to blame.
The reality is that Oliver Ruse,
who had previously threatened to kill Deborah Ruse, his estranged wife, did
just that. It's
reported that he attempted to decapitate her with an
axe, left her dead,
then killed himself.
If a man took to the streets and
hacked a woman to death -
attempting decapitation - he’d
probably be described as an ‘evil,
vicious killer.’ Yet local newspapers
described Oliver Ruse as a ‘kind hardworking and loving man’.
Their
accounts reported that he had experienced mental health
problems, with some suggesting that it was his wife's
actions that ‘drove’ him
to it. There were unsubstantiated reports providing personal information
about their troubled relationship from ‘family friends.’ Which friends of whose
‘family’?
- I wondered.
Were they from his, an influential,
well-respected local business family? Or were they from hers; not local, unknown?
The reports provided no
such information about Deborah Ruse. I was left wondering if she was gentle
and kind and what had troubled her? One report said she had Diazepam in
her system at the time of her murder. I also wondered why
her country of birth was considered to be relevant in some media reports and whether
it was because she was black? Did reporters think her
race added somehow to an understanding of her
murder? Or are they using it to underline
their portrayal of her as an ‘outsider’ in
the Long Melford community?
Even if Deborah Ruse had behaved
badly,
that is no justification for her murder. If Oliver Ruse was mentally ill and
suicidal,
why did he choose to first kill her and then himself?
Maybe
we shouldn’t blame mental illness for her murder. We don’t
know the whole story and all it does is risk further stigma for people with
mental health problems. The only two people who could tell us the
truths of their relationship are dead.
Yet
realising this does nothing to relieve my anxiety.
Deborah Ruse died because she was
the wife of Oliver Ruse and because he believed he was entitled to kill
her. Two women a week are killed by a partner or former partner.
The same week that
Deborah Ruse was murdered in Long Melford, another woman died somewhere else in England or
Wales.
Whichever
way the media has chosen to portray this tragedy, let’s
be clear: it is Deborah Ruse who was
the victim and who bears
no responsibility for her own murder. However
painful it may be
for those left behind to
accept, it is a story of domestic male homicide. A
man violently killed his wife.
It’s got
absolutely nothing to do with the ‘complexities
of relationships’ and everything to do with domestic violence and the
imbalance of power
within them. If we can’t accept this
and fail to report
it as such, then
we become
complicit in allowing domestic violence to go unchallenged and continuing to blaming it's
innocent victims for their fates.
NB: This blog was written and sent to local papers as a letter last year, just after the inquest was reported on. It wasn't published..